Chiara's Cool Coast

where the coast meets the sea of knowledge

100wc #3 “The Abyss with an End”

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“I look what I made, don’t try it but it’s something incredible, truly spectacular! The one, the only-“

“Yeah, yeah it’s a wall you can walk through and come out the other end. It has NO USE!” I declared, sick of it. I stormed through the dumb wall, hoping to get a gasp from the crowd but my ears were filled. With my own scream. THUD. I fell on to a hard, cold, floor and I sulked some more. The silence was killing me, “Will someone say something, anyone?” I waited for my echo to come back to me but it didn’t. “Yes I will speak, me, myself and I.” 

My goal was to show one of my characters had a strong and important voice in the story to make it more interesting.

One Comment

  1. Chiara,
    this piece is a wonderful example of voice. You have used sentence fluency (the way the first character’s sentence runs together), as well as conventions (exclamations; capitals; ellipses) and word choice (“Yeah, yeah…declared, sick of it) to create a clear sense of the personalities of your characters. And the way your central character has their cynical, gloomy and rude attitude turned horribly back on itself is a great device for this prompt.
    I particularly loved the way you emphasised the turn around point of this story with the capitalised “THUD”. It’s like the character’s attitude has been stopped in it’s tracks just as their body has.
    Great work!

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