Chiara's Cool Coast

where the coast meets the sea of knowledge

100wc “Riding a Bike”

| 3 Comments

My bike was speeding towards a bridge and I was losing control.

I reached for the hand brake but I slipped!

Then closer came the wooden pole.

I hate riding.

The wind that was roaring in my ears had stopped.

The wheels that were spinning around a lot had stopped.

The feeling of true joy though my veins had stopped.

I had crashed.

I felt like crying, “How could I miss that!”

I pictured my grandpa frowning my mishap.

Although not here I know what he’d say.

So I got up.

The wind was roaring in my ears.

The wheels were spinning around again.

I had finally had caught up to them.

I love riding.

 

3 Comments

  1. Hi Chiara
    I liked how you did a poem because we are doing them in class at the moment. I like how you used the techniques we have learned in this.
    And I’m not sure if the rhyming at the start worked, it was good but I don’t think it fitted in this poem
    Good job
    Phoebe

    • Ok I was reading this and I take back what I said about the rhyming it actually works pretty well XD. Sorry This was like ages ago

  2. Knockout poem Chiara!
    I love the way you’ve connected what we learned when writing narratives to your poem (the idea of echoing beginnings & endings)
    I also feel there was a strong sense of rhythm which matched the pace of the events here. The stanzas are wonderfully framed by the short lines that end them and the repetition of ideas work brilliantly.
    I read it 4 times and each time noticed something else I loved
    FANTASTIC!
    Ant

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