Chiara's Cool Coast

where the coast meets the sea of knowledge

100wc “Trouble in the House”

| 3 Comments

 

Trouble in the House,

I thought only I was crammed,

but as the heavy door slammed,

I knew that I was wrong.

 

It was just snowballs that piled,

And stayed here for a while.

But I guessed they’d just melt.

 And again I was wrong.

I was drowning away,

and I still am today.

I know it should stop,

but my brain is still slop.

 

Nothing is working.

But I’m still trying.

Nothing is working.

But I’m still trying…

 

Trouble in the House,

I thought only I was crammed,

but as the heavy door slammed,

I knew that I was wrong.

 

3 Comments

  1. Chiara,
    this is absolute gold!
    I feel this poem is ladened with metaphorical representations of the feeling of being trapped by circumstance.
    I love how you have used repetition to create structure and emphasis- and I also love your creative and unexpected rhyme patterns.
    Well done
    Ant

  2. Hello Chiara,
    This is a powerful poem. You have represented a feeling of desolation very effectively, and your use of rhyme and repetition reinforces the feeling of powerlessness that you are conveying. Your use of “Trouble in the House” is interesting, as it links directly with teen culture, but also a difficult family life and even a troubled mind.
    Donna (Team 100 – Albany, Western Australia)

  3. Hi Chiara
    I really liked how you repeated the start at the end and they way you structured made it seem like a song (that might just be me.) I thought you wrote a great piece. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!

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